You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
