Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Buhtt sex?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
