I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am one with the molecules
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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