Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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