Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is Oprah even human
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
