Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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