i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
