I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
