when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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