@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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