she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
