sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
