i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
