Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
