So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Even my vagina gasped.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
