Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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