are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
