**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
