How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
