i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Did I show you my penis last night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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