i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
