fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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