Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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