i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
