hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
