maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
