There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He has the fingertips of a God
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
