when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
