I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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