Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
