in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
