I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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