can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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