Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
