the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Come on in and take your pants off
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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