i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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