I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
