My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
