Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
