It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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