If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
