The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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