omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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