You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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