i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
