After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
