Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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