I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
