don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize