Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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