i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
