oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You can't special order awesome
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
