i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
