Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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