OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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