Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
