It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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