My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
