you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
