I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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