OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
wow bdsm is so cute
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
